life. the beginning.

i never ever sit and just put thoughts down. not something that is all that comfortable for me, but its looking like something that i should do. i have been thinking alot lately about life. what it means to me, and what it means to others. i guess the reason why i have such trouble writing my thoughts is because i have so much to say, that words get jumbled, and misunderstood.
life as i have been living it, has been nothing other than hard. our family has been put in situations where i know its just a test, to see how far i will let it go. somehow, i am still above water.

i have a very dedicated husband, 3 kids who i love more than life. and family that is out of this world. i have it all, yet, sometimes i still feel like something is missing.

maybe-hopefully, though writing my feelings out, i will find out what that is. this is a new step for me, something i have always thought about doing, just never took the time out for me to actually sit down and ponder thoughts that run thorough my head a mile a minute.

if you have gotten this far, i really commend you, and if you could shed any light on my irrationalism, i am up to hear it.
until next time......